It has been a whirlwind holiday season with many ups and downs. Rather than focusing on the downs, I'm clinging tightly to the ups. Romeyn and I have taken most of the "holiday stretch" (the weeks of Christmas and New Year's Eves) as vacation time. Given recent developments and our proclivity to soldier on regardless of what is going on otherwise, the time off is a god-send. I've officially reached the point of Vacation Brain (repeated brainless moments for which I do not need to apologize...extravagances, to be sure).
My little collection of musical instruments has grown this season! Hammered dulcimer, acoustic/electric bass guitar, and a nose whistle (yes, that's a thing). I'm so excited. I'm a little bummed that I managed to break a string while tuning the guitar, but new strings are quickly en route. My plan is to learn bass riffs so that I have the excuse to play mostly melody (not rhythm). My plan for the hammered dulcimer is to accompany Romeyn so that we can play together for things like the annual Camp Party. Oooh, and let's not forget the book of Daniel Nahmod rock-hymns just waiting to be learned.
My new (Introvert-friendly) project is this: I am going to create homemade wings for our Christmas tree topper. It was an angel a few years ago, but one of our former kitties made short work of the wings (real feathers made for an irresistible target). My in-laws gave me a nice mold-making set so I have some options for wing creation. Wax? Would that be too much in the vein of alternative mythologies? Clay would be too heavy (even with epoxy to seal 'em onto the topper...the topper is pretty light and might break with the load). I do have a fair amount of foam-backed poster board and heavy grade construction paper. In any case, the planning has commenced!
Many thanks to all who have made this season easier to navigate through weather alternatively fair and inclement. I have the best friends and family a person could want, totally sensitive to the contrary whims of fate and the impacts felt by their resident Introvert. Happy New Year, everyone!
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Elf Yourself
Partially as a reaction to wearing black for a few weeks, I broke out the red and green today in a major way. Green leggings with a red sheath dress, and an elf headband. As my husband recently posted on Facebook, I'm largely responsible for the current infusion of Christmas Spirit in our house. We have tinsel hanging from a support beam, Christmas Cards lining the wall near the ceiling, ropes of lights surrounding the bay window and our Christmas tree, and so many ornaments that I've lost count. The stockings are ready, the presents are wrapped. We have a few back-up items on reserve just in case a Christmas Emergency arises. We have extra Christmas cards just in case anyone forgot until the very last minute. The Yule Log (a naturally gluten-free cake made primarily in the style of chocolate-flavored meringue) is in the fridge waiting to be eaten while we open presents tomorrow. Peppermint brownies were made in a tree-shaped pan, and a cheese-board has been prepared.
The season is upon us. You can hide away and hope that the celebrations of the season go quickly, or you can Elf Yourself. I've chosen to Elf it up with a passion this year. One can reasonably critique the season with an eye on overbearing consumerism, forced social gatherings, and loud music. However, one can also give oneself over to the mood of the season, and prevail over the consumer-based frenzy with a winning combination of decorations, attitude, and song. My Introvert survival tools for the season are exactly these: Decorations, attitude, and song!
The season is upon us. You can hide away and hope that the celebrations of the season go quickly, or you can Elf Yourself. I've chosen to Elf it up with a passion this year. One can reasonably critique the season with an eye on overbearing consumerism, forced social gatherings, and loud music. However, one can also give oneself over to the mood of the season, and prevail over the consumer-based frenzy with a winning combination of decorations, attitude, and song. My Introvert survival tools for the season are exactly these: Decorations, attitude, and song!
Saturday, December 20, 2014
The 100 Friends and Family You Never Knew You Had...
When my sister and I were very little (toddler and baby), my mother drove us to New York State from a little town in Ohio. We lived in this tiny little yellow apartment in Westchester, then a green one, and then our very own house! I remember bolting up the stairs in the house in order to lay claim to the room at the top of the stairs. Back then, privacy on the phone was acquired by snaking an extension of the phone cord up and around the stairs, and then shutting the door. We thought we were super-smart to think up such a strategy (not realizing that little girls have been trying that since the sixties...).
It was wonderful to grow up near New York City. Some of my friends are glad not to be in White Plains, but I get nostalgic. It wasn't at all close to relatives or family friends---at least at first. However, it was a wonderful, creative and exciting place to call home.
We're in Ohio this weekend for the second/final funeral for my grandmother. It has been an exhausting yet memorable experience. I've written a few postcards during the moments of down time in between memorial events. We've spent a lot of time preparing and updating supplies for each event. My grandmother is worth every hour spent on these activities. She's worth a lot more than that.
One of the reasons that our previous Ohioan experience (when I was a baby and not yet old enough to understand the implications of life here versus life in New York State) has come to mind this evening is that we are always so glad to see our extended families out here. We won't really have a reason to come back to my grandmother's home-town after this trip. I've seen and met a lot of people that either met me when I was a baby, or have never met me at all. I've been called by my mother's name repeatedly because I look just like she did at my age (and younger). A part of me will always regret that our family moved from this state to another, because the more extended the family member, the less likely it is that we have met or will meet.
The take-away from this experience is clear--one should take every opportunity to know the people in their lives, even on the periphery. However exhausting this is to an Introvert in the short term, the long term benefits of friendship and family outweigh the negatives by far.
It was wonderful to grow up near New York City. Some of my friends are glad not to be in White Plains, but I get nostalgic. It wasn't at all close to relatives or family friends---at least at first. However, it was a wonderful, creative and exciting place to call home.
We're in Ohio this weekend for the second/final funeral for my grandmother. It has been an exhausting yet memorable experience. I've written a few postcards during the moments of down time in between memorial events. We've spent a lot of time preparing and updating supplies for each event. My grandmother is worth every hour spent on these activities. She's worth a lot more than that.
One of the reasons that our previous Ohioan experience (when I was a baby and not yet old enough to understand the implications of life here versus life in New York State) has come to mind this evening is that we are always so glad to see our extended families out here. We won't really have a reason to come back to my grandmother's home-town after this trip. I've seen and met a lot of people that either met me when I was a baby, or have never met me at all. I've been called by my mother's name repeatedly because I look just like she did at my age (and younger). A part of me will always regret that our family moved from this state to another, because the more extended the family member, the less likely it is that we have met or will meet.
The take-away from this experience is clear--one should take every opportunity to know the people in their lives, even on the periphery. However exhausting this is to an Introvert in the short term, the long term benefits of friendship and family outweigh the negatives by far.
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Memory Book
One of my tasks this week is to put together a memory book and a slide show, both of which are to be at the second funeral for Grandma this coming weekend in Ohio. I'm not going to lie--this is sad work. It is a labor of love, and the photos of Grandma looking so incredibly happy with Popie are the ones that really get me nostalgic. I'm to work on it during lunch today and then after work. I've been working on it before work too. It has to be done today, otherwise it might not be ready for this weekend. As it stands, we're looking at ordering the book and sending it to ourselves at the B&B near the church and the funeral home. How do you encompass memories everyone has of a woman who took the world by storm in an era where feminism was brand new? Carefully, lovingly, and with a gentle touch.
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Sorry-Grateful
The first funeral was beautiful, and as tumultuous as advertised. I am extremely thankful to my family and our friends for working so hard to provide a fitting service for my grandmother. Today, we bring my grandmother's green chair home to Potsdam. It will be bittersweet to use it but it is one of the best ways I know to honor Grandma's memory. This is the chair she used to perch me in under the "nuclear-strength" reading light in the house in Chillicothe. This is the chair where my grandfather used to smoke his pipe and watch movies on the VCR with us grand-kids. This is the chair where my grandmother sat and chatted about current events and precious memories. I am sorry-grateful to honor her memory in this way. I am thankful-sorry for the chance to read in the green chair under the nuclear-strength light and remember my grandparents and all the times we shared.
Saturday, December 13, 2014
Present in Mourning
At long last, we've arrived in Rochester for the first of two funerals. Today will be a lot of hard work and even more difficult mourning. My beloved stepsons and husband are here with me, and I don't think I could do this without them. I am to give one of the testimonials (eulogizing for three minutes), to read my grandmother's favorite poem (a piece on being Christian by Maya Angelou), and to help set up and clean up the gathering set for after the first funeral.
My grandmother's ashes are in a beautiful urn on my mother's piano. A small shrine surrounds the blue and gold floral urn, with candles and bible passages. I try not to cry when I look at it. Last night, I failed. We were saying goodnight, and out of habit I wished a good night to my grandma (whenever she visited when I was a child, saying goodnight to Grandma was a treat rewarded with "Goodnight, Mandina!"). I cried every step of the way upstairs to the apartment in my mother's house. I couldn't sleep for hours after that. I just had to get away and cry.
Crying is an underrated and judged form of expression in our culture. It is hard for an Introvert to be seen crying, perhaps more so than for others. It brings unwanted social attention when all we want to do is have a minute to express the feeling without needing to be switched "on" for social interaction.
My grandma was an amazing person, aside from being a wonderful grandparent and friend. She deserves every tear, even if it means that today brings absolute social burn-out. I miss you, Grandma.
My grandmother's ashes are in a beautiful urn on my mother's piano. A small shrine surrounds the blue and gold floral urn, with candles and bible passages. I try not to cry when I look at it. Last night, I failed. We were saying goodnight, and out of habit I wished a good night to my grandma (whenever she visited when I was a child, saying goodnight to Grandma was a treat rewarded with "Goodnight, Mandina!"). I cried every step of the way upstairs to the apartment in my mother's house. I couldn't sleep for hours after that. I just had to get away and cry.
Crying is an underrated and judged form of expression in our culture. It is hard for an Introvert to be seen crying, perhaps more so than for others. It brings unwanted social attention when all we want to do is have a minute to express the feeling without needing to be switched "on" for social interaction.
My grandma was an amazing person, aside from being a wonderful grandparent and friend. She deserves every tear, even if it means that today brings absolute social burn-out. I miss you, Grandma.
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Mourning Strategy: Do What Makes You Happy
My mother is one of the smartest people that I know. She's a believer in self-care, especially when one is juggling many responsibilities while dealing with the Big Moments in life. Today, she told me that she decorated the house for Christmas after having determined that: 1. She didn't have to do it; and 2. It would really make her happy. This is an awesome strategy for muddling through stress and sadness.
Quite frankly, it's a beautiful strategy in general. Most of us seek balance of one kind or another in our lives. We seek experiences and activities that light us up inside and out. When we feel low it is tempting to neglect ourselves. However, these are the most important times in which to practice kindness to ourselves and others.
Cooking, reading, and volunteerism light me up from the inside out. I was tempted to postpone a Lions-Club related meeting today, but at the last minute it made the most sense to keep the plan. Volunteerism of any kind makes me happy. 1. I didn't have to do it. 2. It really made me happy.
Quite frankly, it's a beautiful strategy in general. Most of us seek balance of one kind or another in our lives. We seek experiences and activities that light us up inside and out. When we feel low it is tempting to neglect ourselves. However, these are the most important times in which to practice kindness to ourselves and others.
Cooking, reading, and volunteerism light me up from the inside out. I was tempted to postpone a Lions-Club related meeting today, but at the last minute it made the most sense to keep the plan. Volunteerism of any kind makes me happy. 1. I didn't have to do it. 2. It really made me happy.
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Mourning Morgantown (The Song Joni Mitchell Never Sang...)
Early this week, my mother's mother passed away quickly and quietly. The peace she sought for so many years is finally at hand. Wishing desperately to feel glad for her peace, those of us left behind feel overwhelming grief at the loss of a brilliant woman and a loving family member, anger at the world for taking her so suddenly, and disquiet because of the Rosemary-shaped hole left in our lives.
Introverts are either intensely graceful in grief, or (inadvertently and without intent) terribly offensive in grief. Most of us are a combination of both in turns. Don't mistake our quiet for lack of feeling. Don't mistake brooding and processing for stonewalling. The depth of sorrow takes a toll on our ability to express anything useful, and you know that your Introvert wants to make social time of any sort as productive and useful as possible.
My grandmother loved to provoke me into thoughtful arguments, providing the most useful and productive social times and memories of my life. She taught me things that no one else really could. She will always be missed.
Introverts are either intensely graceful in grief, or (inadvertently and without intent) terribly offensive in grief. Most of us are a combination of both in turns. Don't mistake our quiet for lack of feeling. Don't mistake brooding and processing for stonewalling. The depth of sorrow takes a toll on our ability to express anything useful, and you know that your Introvert wants to make social time of any sort as productive and useful as possible.
My grandmother loved to provoke me into thoughtful arguments, providing the most useful and productive social times and memories of my life. She taught me things that no one else really could. She will always be missed.
Saturday, December 6, 2014
Volume, Irony, Laughter
Romeyn and I met up with a friend in Albany last night to go to the Gabriel "Fluffy" Iglesias event at The Palace. Our plan was to meet up at The City Beer Hall to catch up before the show. Little did we know that the volume would be so incredible. The food was excellent and we each sampled a brew, but we actually resorted to texting each other at the table in order to maintain a reasonable level of conversation. Somewhere, my piercingly intelligent sister is twitching (either as she reads this, or for a reason she does not yet know until she does read it...). Texting at the table does rather give credence to the idea that civilization is crumbling at the feet of Great Technology. Another might argue that crowded (and thus achingly loud) pubs are also a sign of the end times.
Regardless, we did manage to keep good conversation going despite very loud conditions.
The great irony of the evening is that we (two Introverts and a combination Introvert/Extrovert) had our best social time of the evening during the walk between The City Beer Hall and The Palace. Normally, taking this sort of stroll between two popular points of interest on a Friday night would be a loud and crowded experience. The cold and the inclement weather resulted in a leisurely stroll with few passers-by and a bit of Excellent Socialization (rare in the world of the Introvert, especially in public places).
At the tail end of our evening, we saw an amazing show featuring the talents of Gabriel "Fluffy" Iglesias. We LOVE his jokes about food, weight, and challenging interactions with other people. We laughed so hard that Romeyn and I (already sick with the annual Potsdam Plague) got a little sicker as a result. The experience was well worth a little extra discomfort. At one point, Fluffy actually sang part of "Sweet Caroline" and got the audience to sing along! Fluffy has adopted the Autism Awareness cause and thus has won even more of my admiration. I don't say this lightly as I do not like the idea of being a fanatic of anything---but I am a huge fan of Mr. Fluffy. The next time he's in New York State, I plan to be there, star-struck and idiotic with glee, because he's so darn funny!
Regardless, we did manage to keep good conversation going despite very loud conditions.
The great irony of the evening is that we (two Introverts and a combination Introvert/Extrovert) had our best social time of the evening during the walk between The City Beer Hall and The Palace. Normally, taking this sort of stroll between two popular points of interest on a Friday night would be a loud and crowded experience. The cold and the inclement weather resulted in a leisurely stroll with few passers-by and a bit of Excellent Socialization (rare in the world of the Introvert, especially in public places).
At the tail end of our evening, we saw an amazing show featuring the talents of Gabriel "Fluffy" Iglesias. We LOVE his jokes about food, weight, and challenging interactions with other people. We laughed so hard that Romeyn and I (already sick with the annual Potsdam Plague) got a little sicker as a result. The experience was well worth a little extra discomfort. At one point, Fluffy actually sang part of "Sweet Caroline" and got the audience to sing along! Fluffy has adopted the Autism Awareness cause and thus has won even more of my admiration. I don't say this lightly as I do not like the idea of being a fanatic of anything---but I am a huge fan of Mr. Fluffy. The next time he's in New York State, I plan to be there, star-struck and idiotic with glee, because he's so darn funny!
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Donald Duck Death Metal
I have been more or less off of the map for the last week or two, and for good reasons (family, holidays, etc.). It was so nice to see everyone. An Introvert's worst nightmare is to get rip-roaringly sick during a social visit, thus necessitating the indignities of navigating social encounters while doped up on cold and flu medications. The first few days of the illness struck while I was at my mother's. My mother was very understanding (as mothers tend to be, but mine is truly awesome at it), and brought me tea and blankets. The first phase of the illness brought an incredibly swollen and painful throat, and an almost complete loss of my voice.
When we got home, my voice was toast and I sounded like Donald Duck Death Metal (yes, you're imagining that in a suitably horrid manner). One would think that the excuse to stay home and "rest" would be welcome...but for the pain and the continued indignity.
My voice returned on Wednesday, and I returned to work. The indignities continued, but morphed from vocal tribulations to a very productive cough (I felt worst for my coworkers, listening to my continued gasps of "EW, gross!!!") and a nose set on running a personal marathon.
I've been heading home at the end of the day (both yesterday and today) feeling absolutely exhausted. There isn't really a reason for the exhaustion other than my body's reaction to my attempts at a normal every-day existence while I shake off the last vestiges of grossness.
I am (once again) incredibly thankful for the understanding of friends and family. I haven't been keen to use the telephone or get together for hang-outs aside from ones that have been in the works for weeks (a concert tomorrow and dinner beforehand have been in the works since mid-November). Be well, readers!
When we got home, my voice was toast and I sounded like Donald Duck Death Metal (yes, you're imagining that in a suitably horrid manner). One would think that the excuse to stay home and "rest" would be welcome...but for the pain and the continued indignity.
My voice returned on Wednesday, and I returned to work. The indignities continued, but morphed from vocal tribulations to a very productive cough (I felt worst for my coworkers, listening to my continued gasps of "EW, gross!!!") and a nose set on running a personal marathon.
I've been heading home at the end of the day (both yesterday and today) feeling absolutely exhausted. There isn't really a reason for the exhaustion other than my body's reaction to my attempts at a normal every-day existence while I shake off the last vestiges of grossness.
I am (once again) incredibly thankful for the understanding of friends and family. I haven't been keen to use the telephone or get together for hang-outs aside from ones that have been in the works for weeks (a concert tomorrow and dinner beforehand have been in the works since mid-November). Be well, readers!
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Holy Holidays, Batman!
The great crunch has begun! Oh preparations, galore! Pies! (See my prior post.) Mashing my own potatoes! Creating sweet potato croquettes with nuts and spiced jelly! Squashing the butternut squash!
I am very thankful that my family is so understanding. That is my mantra at this time of year. I am blessed to have such a wonderful blended family (both near and far). My older stepson and I created a traditional "Residence Hall Thanksgiving" several years ago, and we're about to hold another one this weekend. Thereafter, my younger stepson, my husband and I will see grandparents galore (next week)!
I've had a bit of a hard time lately since I work out quite a bit, but I still seem to be having trouble reducing/maintaining a healthy weight. The gym involves people, and whereas I have a good time at the gym (my headphones on, working up to a respectable adrenaline high), it is exhausting in more ways than one.
If you have any suggestions as to subtle ways to increase my daily exercise without dropping from exhaustion, please feel free to share your tips and tricks!
Happy Thanksgiving!
I am very thankful that my family is so understanding. That is my mantra at this time of year. I am blessed to have such a wonderful blended family (both near and far). My older stepson and I created a traditional "Residence Hall Thanksgiving" several years ago, and we're about to hold another one this weekend. Thereafter, my younger stepson, my husband and I will see grandparents galore (next week)!
I've had a bit of a hard time lately since I work out quite a bit, but I still seem to be having trouble reducing/maintaining a healthy weight. The gym involves people, and whereas I have a good time at the gym (my headphones on, working up to a respectable adrenaline high), it is exhausting in more ways than one.
If you have any suggestions as to subtle ways to increase my daily exercise without dropping from exhaustion, please feel free to share your tips and tricks!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Memories and Pie
Some of my fondest memories of family and friends are of baking sweets and meals. Gran Wheelhouse made this amazing pie when I was in my early teens. Today, I made that recipe for dinner. Every bite was laced with memories. I'm certain that my version of her pie doesn't even come close to the heavenly baked goods Gran used to make. The experience, however, was cathartic and well-worth the labor.
This weekend has been, to some extent, about the labor of love involved in baking. One of my oldest friends called late last night with a challenge--to assist in the creation of a cookie recipe based upon the contents of her kitchen. We made up a recipe for chocolate-rum cookies on the spot.
I made a nice recipe of slow-cooked items for Romeyn and a newer (but still wonderful!) friend in town yesterday. I am very grateful that this friend was willing to put up with our need to have a cat-break mid-dinner (we are still administering two doses per day of kitty medicine for Pumpkin-kitty).
Michelle (the dear soul who just passed away) taught me the recipe for apple pie that I make for family and friends. I have all of the ingredients for her fabulous pie recipe. I'm planning to make it for the early Residence-Hall Thanksgiving next weekend for my older stepson, our family, and a group of the students with whom he works. Memories and pie, pie and memories.
This weekend has been, to some extent, about the labor of love involved in baking. One of my oldest friends called late last night with a challenge--to assist in the creation of a cookie recipe based upon the contents of her kitchen. We made up a recipe for chocolate-rum cookies on the spot.
I made a nice recipe of slow-cooked items for Romeyn and a newer (but still wonderful!) friend in town yesterday. I am very grateful that this friend was willing to put up with our need to have a cat-break mid-dinner (we are still administering two doses per day of kitty medicine for Pumpkin-kitty).
Michelle (the dear soul who just passed away) taught me the recipe for apple pie that I make for family and friends. I have all of the ingredients for her fabulous pie recipe. I'm planning to make it for the early Residence-Hall Thanksgiving next weekend for my older stepson, our family, and a group of the students with whom he works. Memories and pie, pie and memories.
Saturday, November 15, 2014
I, I & I (Introverts, Intentions, and Interpretation)
It is very challenging to be both an Introvert and a person who likes to get straight to the point. A disconnect sometimes exists between the intended message (frankly stating something as it was meant to be interpreted) and the interpretation of said message ("But wait, did you mean X?"). When this happens, chaos can ensue.
"The Cow in the Parking Lot" is an excellent book that I recommend for someone dealing with frankness and perceived insult. The authors point out that if we remove the element of perceived intent to harm or demean you (the reader), it is easier to navigate the muddy waters of communication with self-assured aplomb.
When I state something with positive intent but offense is taken nonetheless, my Introvert survival-mode kicks into gear. I backpedal in an attempt to wheel myself quickly out of the conversational quagmire, but not without taking a huge hit to my reserves of Social-Energy. I don't mind the occasional conflict, but I find huge misunderstandings to be particularly exhausting.
My advice is to second-guess the intent to offend when dealing with a dyed-in-the-wool Introvert. Giving offense only takes away from our precious reserves of Social-Energy. The likelihood is that your Introvert is not attempting to open a can of worms or whoop-a**. If you're honest about the offense early-on, your Introvert will catch on pretty quickly.
On that note, I'm about to go grocery shopping and then to the gym. Shields up, Mr. Sulu! Ha, ha.
"The Cow in the Parking Lot" is an excellent book that I recommend for someone dealing with frankness and perceived insult. The authors point out that if we remove the element of perceived intent to harm or demean you (the reader), it is easier to navigate the muddy waters of communication with self-assured aplomb.
When I state something with positive intent but offense is taken nonetheless, my Introvert survival-mode kicks into gear. I backpedal in an attempt to wheel myself quickly out of the conversational quagmire, but not without taking a huge hit to my reserves of Social-Energy. I don't mind the occasional conflict, but I find huge misunderstandings to be particularly exhausting.
My advice is to second-guess the intent to offend when dealing with a dyed-in-the-wool Introvert. Giving offense only takes away from our precious reserves of Social-Energy. The likelihood is that your Introvert is not attempting to open a can of worms or whoop-a**. If you're honest about the offense early-on, your Introvert will catch on pretty quickly.
On that note, I'm about to go grocery shopping and then to the gym. Shields up, Mr. Sulu! Ha, ha.
Friday, November 14, 2014
A Good Reason for Crowding
Pumpkin (the older of my two kitties) got really sick two days ago, and because we live in a sparsely populated area of New York, we couldn't take her to the vet until yesterday. Although the overall reason for her alarming behavior wasn't fatal, it was a good thing we took her to the vet when we did. The kind ladies at Trout Brook were understanding (yet amused) about the similarities between my reaction to the facility and my cat's reaction. The gentle murmuring at my kitty ("Good kitty! It's okay, Pumpkin. I'm here. No one's going to get you...") was as much for my benefit as it was for Pumpkin's. Holy Crowding, Batman!
The reason I identify so strongly with cats is that they are uncompromisingly Introverted. Kitties aren't apologetic or bashful about their fierce independence. The only time they're really clingy is when they want to be with other animals. If left to their own devices, they would hunt down their own breakfasts. They really are the perfect furry little colonists (in any environment).
There has to be a good reason to put up with crowding when you are either a cat or an Introvert. The need to get help (healthcare, vet services, etc) is the perfect reason to do so. Other reasons (at least for me) are as follows:
1. Family gatherings (this includes gatherings with or for friends)
2. Volunteerism
3. Education
4. Organization of (Musical, Spiritual, Art) events
5. Recognition of major life events
The reason I identify so strongly with cats is that they are uncompromisingly Introverted. Kitties aren't apologetic or bashful about their fierce independence. The only time they're really clingy is when they want to be with other animals. If left to their own devices, they would hunt down their own breakfasts. They really are the perfect furry little colonists (in any environment).
There has to be a good reason to put up with crowding when you are either a cat or an Introvert. The need to get help (healthcare, vet services, etc) is the perfect reason to do so. Other reasons (at least for me) are as follows:
1. Family gatherings (this includes gatherings with or for friends)
2. Volunteerism
3. Education
4. Organization of (Musical, Spiritual, Art) events
5. Recognition of major life events
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
To Honor and Respect
A friend and former work-colleague passed away this weekend. In honor of her and her family, I am taking down the immediate-prior post because it generally wasn't kind. It doesn't matter that the unkindness was not directed at her or her family. Simply put, it was a superfluous expression of thoughts that don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. All we have is today, however long our todays last. Rest well, sweet woman.
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Walk it Off
This week, I've repeatedly walked to work, and then I've gone to the gym to "walk off" my day. There have been a lot of ups and downs inherent in the events of the past few days, and there will be more to come.
My younger stepson's birthday party went off without a hitch. The few days after that were a bit rocky due to what we'll delicately refer to as "No Amp Tuesday" (see the prior post about Mourning the Class...there was a mix-up about the equipment but I still had a rough time with no attendees on that day). My family got to see a side of me that I really don't like very much. However, since no one is perfect...I'm moving past that. The rest of the week, I kept calm and carried on with a stiff(er) upper lip. DOWN...
On Wednesday, I went to work. I felt about as blase as a person can feel. DOWN...
On Thursday, I learned that my Zumba class would be reinstated for Spring 2015. Look out, world! I'm pretty excited about that. UP...
Last Friday, I went to the eye doctor who informed me that I need to keep an eye out (ha, ha) for "flashes" and/or an increase in floaters due to my extreme myopia. I am to go back to the eye doctor immediately if that occurs. There is some irony...I'm the opposite of myopic when it comes to the figurative use of the term, and yet here we are, with me staring the very real possibility of eventual legal blindness in the face. On a positive note, I spent some quality face-time with a trusted friend that evening while giving out Halloween candy. DOWN/UP...
The weekend was fairly calm, which is exactly what I needed. I cleaned a bit, and took a quick trip to our hardware store with Romeyn for the obligatory "Wait It's Not Christmas Yet!" tree photo. UP...
At the start of this week, I got to see my eldest stepson and congratulate him on his recent presentation at SLU (so proud!!). I also went to dinner with my in-laws to celebrate a few birthdays. Finally, I've spent the past few days giving presentations myself at SUNY Canton and Paul Smith's College, and I had a wonderful Lion's Club meeting. UP, UP, AND AWAY WE GO!
So! It really is no wonder that I've needed a bit of a hike here and there to balance out the roller coaster. I will make an effort to post more frequently now that things are settling down a bit. I'm headed to Rochester to see family and an old friend in a few days, and the drive will do wonders for my equilibrium. Be well, friends...
My younger stepson's birthday party went off without a hitch. The few days after that were a bit rocky due to what we'll delicately refer to as "No Amp Tuesday" (see the prior post about Mourning the Class...there was a mix-up about the equipment but I still had a rough time with no attendees on that day). My family got to see a side of me that I really don't like very much. However, since no one is perfect...I'm moving past that. The rest of the week, I kept calm and carried on with a stiff(er) upper lip. DOWN...
On Wednesday, I went to work. I felt about as blase as a person can feel. DOWN...
On Thursday, I learned that my Zumba class would be reinstated for Spring 2015. Look out, world! I'm pretty excited about that. UP...
Last Friday, I went to the eye doctor who informed me that I need to keep an eye out (ha, ha) for "flashes" and/or an increase in floaters due to my extreme myopia. I am to go back to the eye doctor immediately if that occurs. There is some irony...I'm the opposite of myopic when it comes to the figurative use of the term, and yet here we are, with me staring the very real possibility of eventual legal blindness in the face. On a positive note, I spent some quality face-time with a trusted friend that evening while giving out Halloween candy. DOWN/UP...
The weekend was fairly calm, which is exactly what I needed. I cleaned a bit, and took a quick trip to our hardware store with Romeyn for the obligatory "Wait It's Not Christmas Yet!" tree photo. UP...
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| "Wasn't Halloween...a minute ago??" |
At the start of this week, I got to see my eldest stepson and congratulate him on his recent presentation at SLU (so proud!!). I also went to dinner with my in-laws to celebrate a few birthdays. Finally, I've spent the past few days giving presentations myself at SUNY Canton and Paul Smith's College, and I had a wonderful Lion's Club meeting. UP, UP, AND AWAY WE GO!
So! It really is no wonder that I've needed a bit of a hike here and there to balance out the roller coaster. I will make an effort to post more frequently now that things are settling down a bit. I'm headed to Rochester to see family and an old friend in a few days, and the drive will do wonders for my equilibrium. Be well, friends...
Friday, October 31, 2014
And Then There's Halloween
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| Coworkers in Full Regalia |
This year, I've invited a friend to come 'round so that we can be Introverted together. I know that sounds funny. But sometimes solidarity saves the Social aspect of things. We can look at all of the funny costumes, give out candy, and absorb the Social together (dividing and conquering!). Since Romeyn plans to be home as well, and we may or may not have my younger stepson around depending on his plans, the Social aspect might just lose most of its impact altogether! Everyone involved in this plan is good with parallel play (the bastion of Introverted social-time).
Happy Halloween to Everyone! Enjoy (but don't overdo) your social time tonight.
Thursday, October 30, 2014
And Then There's Voting
Today, Potsdam is voting on the potential merger of Potsdam Central Schools with Canton Central Schools. I personally regard voting as a civic duty. However, I've never been a big fan of the process by which we vote.
As an Introvert, the idea of crowding into a little office space or auditorium to stand in line, sign my name, and then vote while someone waits behind or beside me is a terrible one. No pressure here, Ma'am! Just vote and be on your way so the rest of us can do it. By the way, don't mind the crowding.
I'm actually quite ecstatic about the crowding, purely from the standpoint of getting a good turnout on voting days. However, I'd be happier (and perhaps even vote differently) if I could vote from the comfort of my own home.
Don't forget to vote, Potsdam!
As an Introvert, the idea of crowding into a little office space or auditorium to stand in line, sign my name, and then vote while someone waits behind or beside me is a terrible one. No pressure here, Ma'am! Just vote and be on your way so the rest of us can do it. By the way, don't mind the crowding.
I'm actually quite ecstatic about the crowding, purely from the standpoint of getting a good turnout on voting days. However, I'd be happier (and perhaps even vote differently) if I could vote from the comfort of my own home.
Don't forget to vote, Potsdam!
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Mourning the Class
As an Introvert, I should be grateful that no one came to the second section of my class last night. It provided closure for me. However, I'm just going to say it: That was horrible. The empty classroom, realizing that the amp had not even been left there for my class, and realizing that the amp was moot since no one was going to show up (after waiting until 4:40PM, a good 25 minutes after the posted start time).
Sometimes, silence is the exact opposite of what you need to recuperate.
Sometimes, silence is the exact opposite of what you need to recuperate.
Monday, October 27, 2014
Sweet Sounds of Silence
For the first time in over a month, we have nothing planned for the coming weekend. Since it is going to be Halloween on Friday, I anticipate that we'll need to be somewhat social for a few hours of the evening. However, having nothing planned is a load off of my mind.
The impending possibility of Nothing for the weekend makes this week seem like a piece of cake--or pie. (I prefer pie.) And it's a great filler weekend to cleanse the palate prior to making a special trip in a few weeks' time to hang out with family again and to see an old friend from my graduate school.
I have loved hosting my parents and having my in-laws, other assorted family members, and Kyle's gaggle of friends over to celebrate Kyle's foray into the wild world of Being Seventeen. By the time the party was over, I was napping away and my family (bless their hearts) let me Sleep Off the Social aspects of the day (yay, SOS-time!). I really needed my SOS time. I awoke refreshed and happy, and made dinner. We chilled out with the kitties and watched Aaron Sorkin's work.
I am grateful to my family for the SOS time. Further, I'm so grateful to my friends for being so sensitive to my need to Disappear sometimes. There is comfort in silence, and it makes me appreciate everyone so much more when I have time to just Exist in the silence.
The impending possibility of Nothing for the weekend makes this week seem like a piece of cake--or pie. (I prefer pie.) And it's a great filler weekend to cleanse the palate prior to making a special trip in a few weeks' time to hang out with family again and to see an old friend from my graduate school.
I have loved hosting my parents and having my in-laws, other assorted family members, and Kyle's gaggle of friends over to celebrate Kyle's foray into the wild world of Being Seventeen. By the time the party was over, I was napping away and my family (bless their hearts) let me Sleep Off the Social aspects of the day (yay, SOS-time!). I really needed my SOS time. I awoke refreshed and happy, and made dinner. We chilled out with the kitties and watched Aaron Sorkin's work.
I am grateful to my family for the SOS time. Further, I'm so grateful to my friends for being so sensitive to my need to Disappear sometimes. There is comfort in silence, and it makes me appreciate everyone so much more when I have time to just Exist in the silence.
Friday, October 24, 2014
Come to Zumba Fitness!
I've got a stay of execution on my Zumba Fitness Class pending final enrollment count as of Tuesday night. So here is my plan---I am reaching out today to ask *anyone* who is interested in taking my class to attend on Tuesday at 4:15PM at the SUNY Potsdam Merritt Hall Dance Studio on the third floor. If you haven't signed up on the CLEAR website, don't worry about it. I'm trying to gauge interest and viability. Come on Tuesday, take the class and tell me afterwards if you plan to sign up and keep coming to class.
If you're worried about taking advantage of this offer, don't be worried at all. If you attend and decide not to sign up after taking the Tuesday class, you can help me out by giving me feedback (of any kind) about the reason for your choice. Either way, both of us will benefit from the experience.
Thank you in advance to Bloggers and Facebookers, colleagues, and friends.
If you're worried about taking advantage of this offer, don't be worried at all. If you attend and decide not to sign up after taking the Tuesday class, you can help me out by giving me feedback (of any kind) about the reason for your choice. Either way, both of us will benefit from the experience.
Thank you in advance to Bloggers and Facebookers, colleagues, and friends.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Mild Disappointment, But Not Defeat
I experienced a pretty depressing setback in the whole Zumba Fitness department this week. I don't have enough people signed up for the second session (starting Oct 28) of my class this Fall 2014 semester. I have been contacted about potentially cancelling the session. I am conflicted about it.
I am willing to teach Zumba on a volunteer basis (low enrollment impacts the ability for the non-credit parent organization to pay for my services), but it is disheartening that so few wish to continue with the course. The feedback I have actually received gave me the impression that my course is enjoyable and very energetic. The only potential negative feedback I've received to date is that my class starts a bit on the early side (4:15PM on Tuesdays and Thursdays).
I'm open to additional feedback, and I'm not giving up on this dream. I love to dance, and I love Zumba Fitness. I may, however, need to consider some changes in my overall approach to the dream.
I am willing to teach Zumba on a volunteer basis (low enrollment impacts the ability for the non-credit parent organization to pay for my services), but it is disheartening that so few wish to continue with the course. The feedback I have actually received gave me the impression that my course is enjoyable and very energetic. The only potential negative feedback I've received to date is that my class starts a bit on the early side (4:15PM on Tuesdays and Thursdays).
I'm open to additional feedback, and I'm not giving up on this dream. I love to dance, and I love Zumba Fitness. I may, however, need to consider some changes in my overall approach to the dream.
Meanwhile...
I am in the midst of one of my most social weeks of the year, even rivaling that of Christmas through The New Year. I won't lie, it is a challenge. So far, however, I'm loving most of it!
Saturday to Saturday---this is what my week has looked like and will look like going forward:
Last Saturday: Open House. Over a hundred students, family members, and coworkers gathered to share the best stuff about SUNY Potsdam.
Sunday: A one-hour workout at Shaul, followed by dinner and a movie with the family and my friend Donna.
Monday: Serious cleaning of the entire house, which involved many small trips to crowded hardware stores.
Tuesday: My on-duty day (one of two) at work, which involved many financial aid counseling sessions with some of my favorite students. Right after work, I taught Zumba to a small class for one hour. Almost directly after that, Romeyn and I headed to The Lions Club for my induction ceremony (which was also a Zone Lions Club meeting as well as a regular Potsdam Lions Club meeting).
Wednesday: My younger stepson's birthday! This also involves forays into crowded establishments. There are a few Traditions that we like to keep alive on Kyle's actual birthday each year.
Thursday: This will be my second of two on-duty days at work this week. I'll have my Zumba Fitness practice, and then we'll head to an open house for a dual enrollment program that Kyle is attending this year. Somewhere in there, Romeyn and I will stop for food.
Friday: My parents arrive! Yay!!! Wine, cheese, talking, books, talking, and more talking. I love my parents. :)
Saturday: Kyle's birthday party, the count for which is already at/around ~15+ individuals between my parents, my in laws, us, and Kyle's peeps. Thereafter, we have the option to go to a show in which one of our family members is a star! (Yay, Jeannie!)
There is a lot to celebrate this week. As you can see, this is truly one of my most social weeks of the year. As a coping mechanism and in preparation for the days to come, I have been taking Introvert Standard Time in the mornings. I'm mid-way through an Elizabeth George novel, and my kitties couldn't be happier about it! Lots of lap time helps the Introvert as well as the cats. Have an excellent week, all!
Saturday to Saturday---this is what my week has looked like and will look like going forward:
Last Saturday: Open House. Over a hundred students, family members, and coworkers gathered to share the best stuff about SUNY Potsdam.
Sunday: A one-hour workout at Shaul, followed by dinner and a movie with the family and my friend Donna.
Monday: Serious cleaning of the entire house, which involved many small trips to crowded hardware stores.
Tuesday: My on-duty day (one of two) at work, which involved many financial aid counseling sessions with some of my favorite students. Right after work, I taught Zumba to a small class for one hour. Almost directly after that, Romeyn and I headed to The Lions Club for my induction ceremony (which was also a Zone Lions Club meeting as well as a regular Potsdam Lions Club meeting).
Wednesday: My younger stepson's birthday! This also involves forays into crowded establishments. There are a few Traditions that we like to keep alive on Kyle's actual birthday each year.
Thursday: This will be my second of two on-duty days at work this week. I'll have my Zumba Fitness practice, and then we'll head to an open house for a dual enrollment program that Kyle is attending this year. Somewhere in there, Romeyn and I will stop for food.
Friday: My parents arrive! Yay!!! Wine, cheese, talking, books, talking, and more talking. I love my parents. :)
Saturday: Kyle's birthday party, the count for which is already at/around ~15+ individuals between my parents, my in laws, us, and Kyle's peeps. Thereafter, we have the option to go to a show in which one of our family members is a star! (Yay, Jeannie!)
There is a lot to celebrate this week. As you can see, this is truly one of my most social weeks of the year. As a coping mechanism and in preparation for the days to come, I have been taking Introvert Standard Time in the mornings. I'm mid-way through an Elizabeth George novel, and my kitties couldn't be happier about it! Lots of lap time helps the Introvert as well as the cats. Have an excellent week, all!
Friday, October 17, 2014
Book Tantrum
My inner child is about six years old when it comes to my Reading Time. My husband can attest to this. When we're working in the same room but he's doing something like surfing Facebook or reading a great book he wants to share (i.e., wants to share funny tidbits every few minutes) and I'm reading my books...I get really testy. I've been known to Harrumph, Grumble, Growl and Sigh, all while curling protectively around my latest literary treat. My poor beleaguered husband finally gives up after about five or ten tries to get me to laugh about the latest in-joke, kisses me on the head, and lets me be.
Books are Introvert crack. We can't get enough time reading to ourselves, whether it be from a physical book, magazine, newspaper, or e-reader. Entire galaxies and new/interesting facts await us! It isn't that we don't want to interact at all...it's just that reading is sacred!
As an Introvert, I don't always want to share my latest find. First of all, I'm not always reading high-brow material. Sometimes it's literature..and sometimes it's good old fashioned pulp fiction with a gratuitous bent! I don't really want to let the entire internet (including friends of friends and oh yeah, my stepsons, niece, and nephew) know the exact copy of that stuff that I'm reading. In the words of my younger stepson (a fellow Introvert), "that's creepy."
I'm not alone in my book-mania, and I love that. Introverts don't corner the market on this by any means...plenty of Extroverts seem fond of Reading Time. With that in mind, I'm certain I observe more sharing of what is read from Extroverts (whereas we Introverts hoard our words to ourselves).
Frankly, I'm a bit of a Gollum about my books. I've been known to throw the occasional Book Tantrum over the Precious. We wants it. We wants the Precious. Now leave us alone with Precious. PRECIOUS!
Books are Introvert crack. We can't get enough time reading to ourselves, whether it be from a physical book, magazine, newspaper, or e-reader. Entire galaxies and new/interesting facts await us! It isn't that we don't want to interact at all...it's just that reading is sacred!
As an Introvert, I don't always want to share my latest find. First of all, I'm not always reading high-brow material. Sometimes it's literature..and sometimes it's good old fashioned pulp fiction with a gratuitous bent! I don't really want to let the entire internet (including friends of friends and oh yeah, my stepsons, niece, and nephew) know the exact copy of that stuff that I'm reading. In the words of my younger stepson (a fellow Introvert), "that's creepy."
I'm not alone in my book-mania, and I love that. Introverts don't corner the market on this by any means...plenty of Extroverts seem fond of Reading Time. With that in mind, I'm certain I observe more sharing of what is read from Extroverts (whereas we Introverts hoard our words to ourselves).
Frankly, I'm a bit of a Gollum about my books. I've been known to throw the occasional Book Tantrum over the Precious. We wants it. We wants the Precious. Now leave us alone with Precious. PRECIOUS!
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
The Super-Mini Office Survival Kit
The Super-Mini Office Survival Kit:
I've discussed the merits of having survival kits on visits with friends and family, and the merits of keeping a bit of a mini-kit in one's purse or man-bag. For your reading pleasure, I now present The Super-Mini Office Survival Kit:
First of all, there should always be a small space in your office drawer/s for inappropriate foods. You don't want a huge space for this, but at least reserve a corner for packets/k-cups/bags to make your favorite beverage. My personal favorites for other inappropriate foods are as follows: A few hard candies, chewing gum, and occasionally a packet of Lorna Doones.
Secondly, either keep an e-reader in your bag/car/desk, or a small paper ("real") book. You never know when you're going to have to carpool somewhere for a meeting, and it's always good to have these for emergency-alone-time during lunch.
Finally, a blanket in a bag. These can be found in super-small bags for emergency warmth and comfort. Here's a good one---and bear in mind that when they fold up into "totes" you can actually keep some stuff in them (like a tiny book and some inappropriate food): http://www.coleman.com/product/all-outdoorstrade-3-in-1-blanket/2000012444#.VD5v_hYZnB8
I've discussed the merits of having survival kits on visits with friends and family, and the merits of keeping a bit of a mini-kit in one's purse or man-bag. For your reading pleasure, I now present The Super-Mini Office Survival Kit:
First of all, there should always be a small space in your office drawer/s for inappropriate foods. You don't want a huge space for this, but at least reserve a corner for packets/k-cups/bags to make your favorite beverage. My personal favorites for other inappropriate foods are as follows: A few hard candies, chewing gum, and occasionally a packet of Lorna Doones.
Secondly, either keep an e-reader in your bag/car/desk, or a small paper ("real") book. You never know when you're going to have to carpool somewhere for a meeting, and it's always good to have these for emergency-alone-time during lunch.
Finally, a blanket in a bag. These can be found in super-small bags for emergency warmth and comfort. Here's a good one---and bear in mind that when they fold up into "totes" you can actually keep some stuff in them (like a tiny book and some inappropriate food): http://www.coleman.com/product/all-outdoorstrade-3-in-1-blanket/2000012444#.VD5v_hYZnB8
Monday, October 13, 2014
Beautiful Dreamers
We are on the last day of a conference about music and dance in the Adirondacks. It's been a wonderful journey of dulcimers, guitar, dance, and song. Everyone here is so open and friendly! I've had a lovely weekend, and I'm ready to go home.
You see, as lovely as this experience has been, my inner Introvert is dog-tired and cranky. Most of my family and friends can easily tell when I've had enough social time and need to go Cave It Up. However, I'm a bit timid about showing this fact to new acquaintances.
Sometimes, a well-meaning Extrovert will notice that something is off and get concerned. I take it as a sign of kindness. But the extra attention actually achieves the opposite effect of that which was intended...creating a cycle of social attention and Introverted unhappiness.
Please, never take it personally when an Introvert wants to leave the party. It's a wonderful party, full of beautiful dreamers. Your Introvert simply needs to recharge.
Friday, October 10, 2014
Sometimes, Zumba Fitness Instruction is Just Plain Awesome
A few of my favorite students were the only attendees at last night's Zumba course (hosted by yours truly). We had a ball. We wore belly dancing scarves and danced like we meant it. I've discovered that I like a smaller class...not just because I'm an Introvert. I like a smaller class because it changes the dynamics. Students feel freer to ask questions and request demonstrations/break-downs of steps. They can request what they like without having the idea shot down by other students (yes, this happens). I aimed for the timing/days of my class with a goal of getting the shyer folks to come out right after work, when we ladies/gents of a certain age are ready to dance. It worked.
When I have a larger class, I still have fun. I go home exhausted either way, and the work-out is awesome for busting stress. But I still feel happier with my favorite students, having a ball and hamming it up a little.
When I have a larger class, I still have fun. I go home exhausted either way, and the work-out is awesome for busting stress. But I still feel happier with my favorite students, having a ball and hamming it up a little.
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
The Introvert and The Plan
I just had an amazing meeting with The Potsdam Lions Club. We were on-time (early, even!), we were on-point (lots of spirited debate about relevant issues and ideas), and we had an amazing venue (the second floor of the BTB in town--opulent, and huge).
Introverts usually don't get that lucky with meetings...the main issue is increased social interaction, with variable relevance of topics, in an enclosed (and filled) space.
One of the reasons I have limited patience for meetings (in general, no specific brand/type/kind) is that we spend so much time planning. But we don't just plan. We plan to have plans. We discuss the specific methods by which we can plan our plans. All of this maximizes face time with other people, and exhausts an Introvert to the point of distraction. Which...well...isn't conducive to planning. I am a Doer from a long line of Doers. Don't get me wrong---I understand the need for meetings, and the need for common procedures. Without limitations and expectations, planning would never lead to a good plan for Doing. However, the sheer volume of time spent on the plan to Plan to Do is what drives my inner Introvert absolutely bonkers. I'm fairly certain I'm not alone in feeling this way.
The love-hate relationship between the Introvert and the Plan involves logistics other people don't usually have to consider. The hours spent in debate aren't uncomfortable because of the debating. They are uncomfortable because the ratio of area of the meeting room to the number of people in the meeting is undesirable (with very few exceptions). We prefer to meet in open spaces and to minimize the time spent in meeting in order to get to the activities we know we still need to do.
Be kind to your Introverts in the workforce. Keep the meetings on-point and on-schedule, and you'll see minimal twitching from your Introvert.
Introverts usually don't get that lucky with meetings...the main issue is increased social interaction, with variable relevance of topics, in an enclosed (and filled) space.
One of the reasons I have limited patience for meetings (in general, no specific brand/type/kind) is that we spend so much time planning. But we don't just plan. We plan to have plans. We discuss the specific methods by which we can plan our plans. All of this maximizes face time with other people, and exhausts an Introvert to the point of distraction. Which...well...isn't conducive to planning. I am a Doer from a long line of Doers. Don't get me wrong---I understand the need for meetings, and the need for common procedures. Without limitations and expectations, planning would never lead to a good plan for Doing. However, the sheer volume of time spent on the plan to Plan to Do is what drives my inner Introvert absolutely bonkers. I'm fairly certain I'm not alone in feeling this way.
The love-hate relationship between the Introvert and the Plan involves logistics other people don't usually have to consider. The hours spent in debate aren't uncomfortable because of the debating. They are uncomfortable because the ratio of area of the meeting room to the number of people in the meeting is undesirable (with very few exceptions). We prefer to meet in open spaces and to minimize the time spent in meeting in order to get to the activities we know we still need to do.
Be kind to your Introverts in the workforce. Keep the meetings on-point and on-schedule, and you'll see minimal twitching from your Introvert.
Monday, October 6, 2014
The Chill Mix
Being born at the tail end of Generation X was truly a
pleasure...I grew up with audio cassettes that you could throw, drop, scratch,
accidentally unwind...and they would still play. The audio world was our
playground. We would tape off of the radio and pass the recordings to one
another as personalized representations of what we thought (or at least what we
thought was cool). We'd tape from LPs too, just to show how truly awesome
our music collections were.
Music is an escape and recharge from the regular world
for me. It almost always has been. During the drive this
weekend, I relaxed into the buttery bliss of Gretchen Parlato, and got revved
about the drive by listening to Everything But the Girl, The Lemonheads, Ravel,
and Jurassic 5. You can take the girl away from audio cassettes and into the
21st century...but you can't take the mix tape bliss out of the girl.
As I returned to work this morning, I listened to a
favorite mix. I've created a four-and-change hour long iTunes playlist
called "The Chill Mix." It puts my mind in an incredibly happy space
and allows for good, calm work. In case any of you are interested, this
is the list:
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Saturday, October 4, 2014
Busy Bee
Although the events of the past few weeks have seemed frenetically frantic, things are finally calming down. I find that a long-distance drive brings some rhythm and peace to a hectic schedule. I get to pick my own music if I'm behind the wheel, and generally what I like to listen to is a little too eclectic for fellow passengers' comfort levels (e.g., gansta rap for one song, classical for the next, pop rock, jazz...you get the picture). When I take the wheel and Romeyn is napping in the passenger seat...the audio world is my oyster. I listen to my heart's content, and focus on the colors of the season.
We hopped from event to event this weekend, but the four hour drive (two as a passenger and two as the driver) allowed me some precious Introvert time, soaking up the more individual experiences of the moment. I quite literally felt myself slow down, breathe, and appreciate the gift of the drive. When we arrived for my grandmother's birthday party, I was calm--prepared for the social experience of a gathering of people in an enclosed space (a meeting room at my grandmother's senior living facility--pretty swanky, but still close quarters).
These little unexpected moments of solitude in between events allows an introvert to slow down, breathe, and be happy. Recharging is important, even if it's in the form of a solitary chore, a drive, or a nap. Tomorrow will allow me more of this recharging bliss. In the meantime, the moment is all mine.
We hopped from event to event this weekend, but the four hour drive (two as a passenger and two as the driver) allowed me some precious Introvert time, soaking up the more individual experiences of the moment. I quite literally felt myself slow down, breathe, and appreciate the gift of the drive. When we arrived for my grandmother's birthday party, I was calm--prepared for the social experience of a gathering of people in an enclosed space (a meeting room at my grandmother's senior living facility--pretty swanky, but still close quarters).
These little unexpected moments of solitude in between events allows an introvert to slow down, breathe, and be happy. Recharging is important, even if it's in the form of a solitary chore, a drive, or a nap. Tomorrow will allow me more of this recharging bliss. In the meantime, the moment is all mine.
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Best. Husband. Ever.
While I spent the weekend needing Maximum Introvert Time to be sick to my stomach and to mourn, my husband did what wise spouses of Introverts do---he engaged in a project. We kept apologizing to one another over the course of the weekend. It was actually a little quirky/humorous in the midst of such a horrible time:
Romeyn: "I'm sorry I'm not around more this weekend, Sweetie. I know you're going through a rough time."
Amanda: "I'm sorry I'm not up to hanging out this weekend, Honey Bear! I'm going through a rough time!"
...And on and on it went. When things had blown over and both of us were infinitely more settled (yesterday), my husband spontaneously suggested he take me out for a date on Thursday. Without me saying a word, he said exactly what I wanted to hear, again! :)
I don't say it enough. I have the perfect husband, especially given my Introvertedness! Thank you, Romeyn. I appreciate your understanding, patience, hand-holding, love, support, and awesomeness.
Romeyn: "I'm sorry I'm not around more this weekend, Sweetie. I know you're going through a rough time."
Amanda: "I'm sorry I'm not up to hanging out this weekend, Honey Bear! I'm going through a rough time!"
...And on and on it went. When things had blown over and both of us were infinitely more settled (yesterday), my husband spontaneously suggested he take me out for a date on Thursday. Without me saying a word, he said exactly what I wanted to hear, again! :)
I don't say it enough. I have the perfect husband, especially given my Introvertedness! Thank you, Romeyn. I appreciate your understanding, patience, hand-holding, love, support, and awesomeness.
Monday, September 29, 2014
Exhaustion
Sometimes, life throws you several curve-balls at once. Using the tools at your disposal in order to cope doesn't always cut it. I'm a big believer in the power of the nap in these cases. Even ten minutes of shuteye can do wonders.
The past few days have been particularly rough on me. I managed to make myself physically ill from exhaustion and stress. Both of my wonderful stepsons, including our young introvert, gave me hugs without any prompting. They were wonderfully supportive. I was a mess.
After a restorative nap, I got up and started to clean up after some of the messier stress factors of the weekend. I think that naps are the last line of defense against stress--particularly introvert stress. Onwards and upwards.
Friday, September 26, 2014
The Challenge of Open House
Since I work at a college, participation in several events during the year with large crowds of people is non-optional. The positive side of this "mandatory mixing" is that it has a(n awesome) specific drive and purpose. Remember, I have a greater understanding of groups with a purpose. An open house is not a forum where I'll be forced to endure a lot of small talk. Rather, it is an environment where I give practical advice in short bursts of directed conversation. Granted, it is usually the same advice in a repetitive loop to over a hundred open house participants at a stretch...but it is for their benefit and the repetition makes it easy to remember what to say.
That being said, there comes a point during the experience when my ability to deal with the social situation is stretched to its very limits. It isn't a fluke that I live out in the country, in an incredibly rural setting with an extremely small population. I've always been more of a coffeehouse person than a house-party person--fewer people at a time and a quieter (more personal) experience.
In my first post, I talked about tips for surviving social events. Most of these do not apply in an open house setting. For example, it would be inappropriate to bring knitting to this professional event. But I still bring a tiny survival kit to open houses and similar events:
1. Chewing Gum (It may sound strange, but as an introvert, it becomes difficult to even think clearly in large crowds with a ton of ambient noise. Chewing gum allows me to think a little more clearly while I navigate and interact with the group in question.)
2. Headache Medicine (I am prone to headaches, and specifically, migraines. Better to be prepared than not, especially when I'm already in a state of Introvert high-tension due to a crowd.)
3. A Small Notebook (This one is thanks to my wonderful husband. He likes to keep a mini notebook on hand just in case it is needed. In my case, in a large crowd it is a great idea to be prepared for requests for follow up that I might not otherwise remember due to the aforementioned state of high-tension.)
4. A Plan to Decompress After the Event (For tomorrow's event, I've got Introvert Time before and after, as well as a nice quiet plan with a good friend later in the evening.)
With a little planning and self-care, crowded events need not run us Introverts into the ground. Rather, these events can be opportunities to get outside of that comfort zone and help others while testing out our coping mechanisms in a perfectly crowded setting.
That being said, there comes a point during the experience when my ability to deal with the social situation is stretched to its very limits. It isn't a fluke that I live out in the country, in an incredibly rural setting with an extremely small population. I've always been more of a coffeehouse person than a house-party person--fewer people at a time and a quieter (more personal) experience.
In my first post, I talked about tips for surviving social events. Most of these do not apply in an open house setting. For example, it would be inappropriate to bring knitting to this professional event. But I still bring a tiny survival kit to open houses and similar events:
1. Chewing Gum (It may sound strange, but as an introvert, it becomes difficult to even think clearly in large crowds with a ton of ambient noise. Chewing gum allows me to think a little more clearly while I navigate and interact with the group in question.)
2. Headache Medicine (I am prone to headaches, and specifically, migraines. Better to be prepared than not, especially when I'm already in a state of Introvert high-tension due to a crowd.)
3. A Small Notebook (This one is thanks to my wonderful husband. He likes to keep a mini notebook on hand just in case it is needed. In my case, in a large crowd it is a great idea to be prepared for requests for follow up that I might not otherwise remember due to the aforementioned state of high-tension.)
4. A Plan to Decompress After the Event (For tomorrow's event, I've got Introvert Time before and after, as well as a nice quiet plan with a good friend later in the evening.)
With a little planning and self-care, crowded events need not run us Introverts into the ground. Rather, these events can be opportunities to get outside of that comfort zone and help others while testing out our coping mechanisms in a perfectly crowded setting.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Reclaiming the Telephone
As an introvert, the "subtle" ring of a telephone usually inspires dread. Oh goodness---there's an unexpected person! It creates quite the challenge as I fight my natural urge to resent the unexpected person on the other end of the line. I've been known to plan out phone-calls, texts and even emails in advance.
Lately, I have been working on increasing my telephonic exposure. I don't want to be That Introvert---the eccentric hermit that people avoid out of habit. I've increased my phonecalls to others and my plans to have phonecalls in general. It's especially helpful for new friendships and old family relationships.
The comfort zone of the telephone is minimal at best, but there are perks to this type of conversation---for example, I find it is easier to gauge the tone, content, and intent of the communication on the phone. It's easier to remember elements of a conversation and note things that are important to the person in question. I believe we should reclaim the telephone---as introverts, it is an important tool to invite others into our sphere of existence.
Lately, I have been working on increasing my telephonic exposure. I don't want to be That Introvert---the eccentric hermit that people avoid out of habit. I've increased my phonecalls to others and my plans to have phonecalls in general. It's especially helpful for new friendships and old family relationships.
The comfort zone of the telephone is minimal at best, but there are perks to this type of conversation---for example, I find it is easier to gauge the tone, content, and intent of the communication on the phone. It's easier to remember elements of a conversation and note things that are important to the person in question. I believe we should reclaim the telephone---as introverts, it is an important tool to invite others into our sphere of existence.
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Exercise = Energy
As an introvert, I adore having time to do things on my own. A great example of Introvert Recharging Activity is exercise! Even if the gym is crowded, I can tune everyone out and listen to workout tunes while working towards that wonderful adrenaline high. I've mentioned that taking a walk or bringing exercise gear on a trip is a great way to recharge as well. I've found that many modern exercise machines have a holder for your e-reader or tablet (or book), so depending on how vigorously you plan to exercise, you can merge that introvert-activity with another favorite--reading. Exercise is good for your mental and physical well-being---just don't overdo it.
Happy recharging!
Happy recharging!
Friday, September 19, 2014
Being Alone Together
There are times when Romeyn (my wonderful husband) and I work silently, side by side or across the room from one another. It's an easygoing silence that allows for deep thought and great productivity. A shared purpose unites us in the silence, so we are not "alone" but we are definitely Alone Together in our activities.
A similar sense of tranquility can be maintained when an introvert is in a large crowd---it just depends upon the context. For example, one of the most peaceful places that I've experienced is Grand Central Station. A shared purpose unites those waiting for trains to depart or arrive. Even when people are rushing to their destinations in the crowd, most travelers seem to avoid conflicts if possible and stick to their own paths and plans.
This isn't a particularly comfortable station from the standpoint of having a place to sit or something specific to do while you wait. Rather, it is more like a museum in that you can see so many things while you wait (and without interruption.)
I am the type of introvert that enjoys Being Alone Together--engaging in silent but shared activity that can be paused at any moment if either party wishes to take off or do something different. Working together, visiting museums and reading are some of my favorites!
A similar sense of tranquility can be maintained when an introvert is in a large crowd---it just depends upon the context. For example, one of the most peaceful places that I've experienced is Grand Central Station. A shared purpose unites those waiting for trains to depart or arrive. Even when people are rushing to their destinations in the crowd, most travelers seem to avoid conflicts if possible and stick to their own paths and plans.
This isn't a particularly comfortable station from the standpoint of having a place to sit or something specific to do while you wait. Rather, it is more like a museum in that you can see so many things while you wait (and without interruption.)
I am the type of introvert that enjoys Being Alone Together--engaging in silent but shared activity that can be paused at any moment if either party wishes to take off or do something different. Working together, visiting museums and reading are some of my favorites!
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Introvert Standard Time (IST)
I used to giggle at my mother for getting up at what seemed like the break of dawn. I'd hear her industriously cleaning, or come downstairs to find her listening to symphonies on the Hi-Fi. Now that I'm older, I understand the wisdom of her early schedule.
A little meditation and exercise in the morning helps set the tone for the day. Even if the exercise is a little housecleaning, and the "meditation" consists of a few quiet moments, it does wonders for a person's ability to cope with the uncertainties of everyday life.
In a household of young men, it also affords an introvert like me a few minutes of Nothing at All. I'm so proud of my two stepsons. My boys have done and continue to do amazing things, and I love hearing about it all! The Introvert Time each morning allows me to be more attuned to them when they have such accomplishments and challenges to share. Introvert Standard Time (or IST) should be an activity all of us introverts engage in regularly. As a former colleague of mine noted, "When you have the time you need to relax, you're a happier person."
So I'll continue to sing the praises of a little IST in the morning...and thank my lucky stars that my mother set an example with such practical applications. Thanks, Mom!
A little meditation and exercise in the morning helps set the tone for the day. Even if the exercise is a little housecleaning, and the "meditation" consists of a few quiet moments, it does wonders for a person's ability to cope with the uncertainties of everyday life.
In a household of young men, it also affords an introvert like me a few minutes of Nothing at All. I'm so proud of my two stepsons. My boys have done and continue to do amazing things, and I love hearing about it all! The Introvert Time each morning allows me to be more attuned to them when they have such accomplishments and challenges to share. Introvert Standard Time (or IST) should be an activity all of us introverts engage in regularly. As a former colleague of mine noted, "When you have the time you need to relax, you're a happier person."
So I'll continue to sing the praises of a little IST in the morning...and thank my lucky stars that my mother set an example with such practical applications. Thanks, Mom!
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