"Is It An Evil Petting Zoo?"

It is no longer an oddity to have some sort of minor glitch in one's familial relationships with parents and/or siblings.  To be frank, I'm grateful that society has dropped the pretense that we all get along famously all the time (thank you, 1950s television families). 

Last night, my dreams mined my subconscious for little nuggets of family arguments from as far back as 1996, but mostly items from 2005 or so.  Being an Introvert in a family of very gregarious, boisterous, outgoing and creative individuals was a daunting proposition.  Having moved to Seattle, Washington in 2001 (shortly after the towers fell, and yes the move was related), I was in the process of finding myself in the Great Pacific Northwest.   Having been somewhat of an odd bean (to put it mildly), it was an interesting challenge to navigate all of the new social interactions of The Big Move in 2001, and then Graduate School from 2003-2006.  It took a long time for me to figure out that numbers were my passion.  When that finally occurred, my highly creative friends and family members understandably cried foul.  It was really a way to show that they were worried, that they cared!

Discovering a love of numbers was a fascinating turn of events, especially given that I had not expected to be so moved by exploration and understanding of concrete fact rather than by creative fantasy.  Even my grandmother asked me if my choice of study would really make me happy (remember, odd bean!).  You'd be surprised at how often well-meaning friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and family members still question my choice. 

I woke up this morning, grinning like a fool.   Of all the family moments in time to remember, questions about my career path and course of study were fairly harmless.  It still tickles me to think of all the things we hope for when we consider our families and our children.  You just never know what you're going to get...an analyst or a musician, philosopher or comedian.

Practice, Practice, Practice

This week has been all about continuing to practice my booty off!  I hurt all over, but my day of rest is tomorrow, so I can definitely lump it until then.  Here's the schedule I've been keeping lately:

~5AM-6:30: Reading
~6:30-7:30: Getting Ready for Work
~7:30-8AM: Getting to Work (Including a Potential Stop for Coffee, Car Warmup Time, etc)
8AM-4PM or 4:30PM: Working
4:30PM-5 or 5:30PM: Making Dinner, Practicing Zumba Fitness
5:30PM-6:30PM: Dining
6:30PM-7 or 7:30PM: Practicing Zumba Fitness, Cleaning Up
7:30PM-Bedtime: Social Networking, Volunteering, Reading, Making Art, Watching Shows

The new Zumba Fitness routine that I've been memorizing has a lot (and I mean a LOT) of my favorite Merengue moves.  It is extremely hips-thighs-and-butt intensive, without a lot of jumping.  The good news is that it's very easy on the knees, but it does mean that practice of that one song exclusively can cause some discomfort sitting down.  Ha, ha!

Glowy

Despite incredibly busy and challenging (sometimes upsetting) moments this week, I feel aglow.  Reading and kitty-time have been the staples of my mornings, and exercise/knitting/cooking have been the activities of my nights.  This morning is no exception.  I spent a good, solid two hours next to the fake fire (yes, yes, my neck is red) reading Stephen King and petting my two rambunctious kitty-cats.  All of this is very, very good for your fellow Introvert. 

Any time that stress is most definitely on the horizon, particularly Social-stress, fostering rituals like those listed above help keep an Introvert sane and healthy. 

I LOVE my job, particularly when I'm helping people.  There are times, however, when the crowding inherent in our "busy" seasons (mostly August and January) can get to an Introvert.  Therefore, my morning-ritual preparation for today's help-fest over at SUNY Canton will only help me help others.  See?  One can be both incredibly selfish (I admit it) and selfless (volunteering for these events, as an Introvert, is definitely that) at the same time.

One only has to laugh at one's self from time to time...the little eccentricities and idiosyncratic quirks of personality type are both predictable and acceptable as long as they do not prevent an Introvert from doing good works.  ;-)

Rip-Roarin' Awaaaay...

I kept myself insanely busy this week, even with the holiday.   Between what I like to think of as my "homework" (reading, knitting, cooking) and the activities at work (calculating, reviewing, etc.), this week has been one of the most productive ones in recent memory.  It's great!  Even though the conventional wisdom suggests that keeping busy has the potential to stint imagination, the effect has been to spur creativity to new heights.

Adding to the homework, I am planning to do a diptych (dual set of paintings) showing the molecular structures of estrogen and progesterone.   The background will be a pastel wash, and the structures themselves will be featured as almost three-dimensional (an impact that can be imbued while painting using the right combination of washed out grays and almost fluorescent brights).  Since these hormones have such an amazing impact on my life and the lives of all women, the tribute will not be untoward.

This new project or rather, these new projects--will take some time and energy, but painting is a perfect Introverted activity.  So while expending energy is an ineluctable part of this process, it will be self-sustaining.  Green!  Ha, ha.

Zumbalicious

I have a new Zumba section starting this upcoming Sunday at 3PM at the Merritt Hall Gym on the first floor.  I'm so excited!  Introverts like their social time to be super productive (thus justifying the expenditure of energy).  This is super super super productive!  Come join me at my first class this Sunday at 3PM!  If you like it, sign up for the class on clear.potsdam.edu.   I've already got ten people signed up for the first section of ten weeks.  Hooray!

Creative Outlet

Although my favorite degree to date is my Master's of Public Administration, many of you already know that my undergraduate degree was in Art Studio.  I LOVE ART, but not as much as I love budgety things.  This makes me somewhat of a pariah (or at least an enigma) among my parents' circles.  Why math?

Math is actually a wonderfully creative outlet.  It provides a set of rules (or, if you are bending the rules, a set of newly created assumptions), the safety of knowing that your formula will provide an answer that is beyond reproach, and the wildness of being able to justify alternative outcomes if you choose to change a single variable, assumption, integer, etc.  Some of you know of my love of challenges and debate.  The challenge (and many times, the debate) inherent in math is to *justify* your assumptions (and therefore, your outcome).  That's so freaking hot. 

Math is my third love (after my family and my kitties), and my first calling.  Even though I still play the color game (that thing that all artists do when they try to decide what colors they would use to paint/draw something they see in life), I'm also thinking about quantity of paint, relative thinness of the medium, and the desired dimensions of a potential piece.  In other words, even in art, I'm still obsessed with math.

Financial math is simultaneously a safe haven and a dangerous adventure.  You have to stay abreast of changes in Federal regulations all the time (they change quickly, and noncompliance is against the law...).  It is a challenge and a passion.  Math is life, and one of the happiest callings that a little Introvert could hope to have.

Waiting to Work

It is merely a fluke that I brought my laptop to work today.  Due to the severe wind chill warning this morning, my plan was to use my laptop for fun and games during my lunch hour.  Little did I know that I would be using it to work this morning because my own computer and two monitors are unavailable due to needed maintenance.

Having anyone in my office for reasons not directly related to my job is a little uncomfortable due to the size of my office.  It is a perfect little office with a view for my purposes.  Think back to Rodgers and Hammerstein's "Cinderella" ("In my own little corner!").  It is cozy and a perfect haven for intellectual/mathematical activity.  The wonderful size of the office has an impact on my ability to work (even on a laptop) when someone else is completing unrelated activities in the same space.  Enter maintenance.

It's very different when a student is in my office because the social aspect of the meeting is clearly and immediately productive for both parties.  The issue here is that I don't want to alienate anyone--especially when they're here to help me in the long run.  The difficulty inherent in this personal Introverted challenge is that I really cannot do much right now from my laptop other than a detailed review of work that has already been done.  This is only the case due to the nature of the seasonal project/s in question.

Unexpected social contact that is not necessarily productive for all parties involved creates a source of tension for your Introvert.  It isn't insurmountable, but you can definitely see your Introvert twitch a little when it happens.

I made sure that the super-nice Help Desk staffer knew that it wasn't a problem to be in the space.  After all, I need my computer, monitors, and printing to work before I can fully assist my students.  However, it was clear to her that I was uncomfortable and distracted. 

Breathe, little Introvert, breathe!

Ah well...onwards and upwards.  Time to review some cases to make sure that my work this morning would hold up to a second round of scrutiny.

Wide Awake at Inappropriate Times

Everyone here is fast asleep.  My husband is asleep, the kitties are asleep.  Why not me...?

I have a questionable tendency to bring home my daily trials and tribulations.  I love what I do...which is why I'm totally obsessed with it.  Most people I've met who work with academia are obsessed with it! 

Breathe, little Introvert, breathe!

This is the time of year when every last one of us is involved in set-up for the new year in some capacity or another.  Deadlines conflict and supersede one another at the most inconvenient times.  You learn to roll with it after awhile...find out the priority and divide and conquer.

It does mean that a lot of mini-meetings take place during the day---consultations and debriefings that cannot be avoided.  They are good, productive social interactions in short bursts. 

Work is  not the only reason for my temporary unrest.  I was having amazing Introvert Time with kitties, books, and knitting...but my choice of reading material was unfortunate for the timing.  One should never read Stephen King directly prior to bedtime!

Now that it is three in the morning, I am using two Introvert Techniques to drop off to sleep:

1. This micro-blog is a good way to blow off a teensy bit of steam.  Writing is such an awesome method of decompressing from socially based stressors.

2. I am allowing myself a little smidgeon of extra Introvert time with my books (this time, a more pleasant selection).  


ZZzzzzz...