Family

I sometimes compare my family to that of the fictional movie "The Royal Tenenbaums." This isn't intended to be insulting in any way.  There are just so many shades/varieties of family involved in my extended Super-Blend.  It may sound strange, but I enjoy this Super-Blend even when things are difficult to navigate.

It is easy to lose touch with even the closest family members as an adult.  Further, I have found that you learn a lot about things in the past the more you listen to family as an adult.  With this combination of familial dynamics (a truly full awareness of my own role as an active family listener), discretion finally becomes the better part of being a daughter, grand-daughter, niece, cousin, step, and shirttail relative.  The responsibility on my part to actively connect becomes the priority.  Connection requires work, and therefore, keeping my own counsel remains the best way to work smarter in this regard, and not harder.

Quite a lot of home-grown wisdom exists to the affect of "Be still." Being in the moment and receptive to that moment creates the maximum opportunity to connect--to learn--to understand.

An introvert rarely needs to be told to be still.  But Being in the Moment can be difficult.  So many socially difficult situations are made worse by existing expectations. Examining the assumptions we travel with (and see the world through) is easier suggested than done.

"The Royal Tenenbaums" shows such an artistic, clean-cut set of complicated familial/emotional patterns of interaction.  Since the movie is stylized in a manner similar to a play, the examples are shown from multiple angles without slowing the rhythm of the piece.  The beautifully sad moments run counterpoint to little notes of happiness and hope.  The anger of a sibling or of offspring underlines the overall message that everyone in and around the family wants to be accepted and loved.  Everyone wishes to be heard, to be understood.

I see my family in clearer definition now more than ever, but still through the lens of my own assumptions.  It is the way that I love and appreciate each and every one of them.  I have many thoughts that are ultimately not worth the potential damage to communicate.  The beauty of having such a Super-Blend is that most times, I don't have to communicate verbally when our shared history is (by its very nature) so self-explanatory.

Life is complex, but love is simple.

Hamster Hands

When it comes to being excited and happy, most people have some form of "tell." The spouse of a dear college friend chews on his lip.  One of my stepsons flaps his arms.  I get "hamster hands."

What are hamster hands?  I'll tell you. 

When I was little, my sister and I had a number of rodent pets.  I noticed that when rodents checked things out or got excited, they would put their little paws together and perch on two legs.  Their little eyes would check out the situation, the little whiskers and nose would twitch in the air.  In my estimation, that was the coolest expression of excitement.  Rabbits do something similar.  Cats use their tails and ears to express excitement, but I have neither rotating ears nor extended spine.

What started as a childhood affectation (a rudimentary way to get quick acknowledgment in a very busy family) became second nature.  There are photos from my wedding where you can clearly see me doing the Hamster-Hand-Thing.  Trust me when I say that it's no longer a conscious movement.


I get excited = I grin widely and put up my little paws.

This week I have to fight hard *not* to put my paws up.  I'm excited.  I'm super excited.  I'm over the moon!  I get to see Brady (my older stepson) this weekend.  I get to see my mom and my stepdad.  I've accepted a new job with a fancy new title. 

I'm quietly letting go of the sheer amount of pressure that I felt not two weeks ago.

Be well, fellow Introverts.