I'm at medical appointment 2 out of 3 today, and 3 out of 5 this week. We're all somewhat familiar with the "Hurry Up And Wait" nature of medical appointments. I tend to bring my laptop with me so that I can be productive, catch up on email and Facebook, and try to make the most of the down time that would normally be filled with anxiety ("What's wrong with me NOW???").
One of my appointments was interrupted this morning due to someone else's emergency. On one hand, such is life...on the other hand, it places more delay into the mix, and involves someone else being in medical trouble.
I try to take care of myself, but there are so many factors at work here. There's a dearth of time (the time-dearth continuum). A paucity of time to pause (a pause-paucity). I love to spend time with family and friends, but part of me will continually resent so many plans having to be in place. I wouldn't be a hermit if allowed, but I would definitely be somewhat more reclusive.
After this appointment, I head back to work (which I normally love). Today, I wish I could just be in the woods with a book and a blanket. Especially right now.
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
Wednesday, July 20, 2016
Putting Off Needle-Work and Machinery
I drive my doctors a bit batty because I procrastinate with impunity when it comes to the completion of labs and scans. To say that my medical history is a bit awkward would be like saying that The Golden Gate Bridge is a bit orange.
Some of the more heinous medical issues that I've experienced started between the ages of six and ten. I have vivid memories of clutching a teddy bear and being promised ice cream if I would just sit still for a moment while being poked, prodded, and drained of small amounts of blood via very large needles. This happened almost monthly. Although I'm stoic when I go in to get phlebotomized (blood work) as an adult, it's still reminiscent of a time that is best long forgotten.
This week and next are chock full of medical appointments and testing...and I can't put it off any longer. It drives *me* a little batty when colleagues wonder why I am so busy all of the time. Between my medical issues, family obligations, work, and the few moments that I take as mine...very little time is left. Let me say this once (and hopefully, I won't have to say it often): Relative youth does not equal an unlimited amount of time and energy for volunteerism and favors. I'm happy to help when I can...but I'm (respectfully) clear about the issue when I'm unable to assist.
Setting limits is important. Judging another person for setting those limits should not be an acceptable practice.
Be well, fellow Introverts.
Some of the more heinous medical issues that I've experienced started between the ages of six and ten. I have vivid memories of clutching a teddy bear and being promised ice cream if I would just sit still for a moment while being poked, prodded, and drained of small amounts of blood via very large needles. This happened almost monthly. Although I'm stoic when I go in to get phlebotomized (blood work) as an adult, it's still reminiscent of a time that is best long forgotten.
This week and next are chock full of medical appointments and testing...and I can't put it off any longer. It drives *me* a little batty when colleagues wonder why I am so busy all of the time. Between my medical issues, family obligations, work, and the few moments that I take as mine...very little time is left. Let me say this once (and hopefully, I won't have to say it often): Relative youth does not equal an unlimited amount of time and energy for volunteerism and favors. I'm happy to help when I can...but I'm (respectfully) clear about the issue when I'm unable to assist.
Setting limits is important. Judging another person for setting those limits should not be an acceptable practice.
Be well, fellow Introverts.
Monday, July 11, 2016
Moving Right Along
This morning, I caught the tail end of a story on NPR about managing medical care when you have a chronic condition. To say that managing medical care (coordinating between insurance coverage and multiple doctors) is no picnic is an understatement. This is a story to which a lot of us can personally relate.
Living with Major Depression is *absolutely* no picnic, but it is chemical and biological in nature, which allows me to accept that it is not a character defect. The de-stigmatization of mental illness is a personal passion--trust me when I say that I have been discriminated against on the basis of my condition, many times over. A combination of medication and CBT (a specific type of counseling) is the best combination of treatments for me. Unfortunately, it's very difficult to keep the CBT going on a consistent basis.
When a person has migraines, they begin to know their triggers inside and out...making sure that allergies are addressed (avoiding allergens altogether or taking medicine for them), sunglasses are used in the sun and adequate water is taken with them everywhere that they go. Similarly, when a person has Major Depression, triggers are known intimately. I avoid certain types of plots in movies and TV shows. When major life events are about to happen (family surgeries, graduations, weddings, births, funerals), I have a "to-go" kit of things that help. Knitting is a big item in the kit, as well as coloring books, novels, and music. I try to remain aware of emotional eating and drinking, and I keep a journal close by.
The past few months have been rife with major life events. With that in mind, I am swimming right along and moving right along with the twists and turns of fate. My most recent efforts have centered around finding a new counselor...something I have been working at for almost a full year. Finding and keeping a counselor is very difficult when one lives in the North Country of New York. I've had counselors retire, change practices and insurance coverage, move out of the area, and my personal favorite---drop me entirely without adequate notice or a plan for continued care.
I am lucky to have a wonderful family--a supportive spouse and two understanding stepsons. Without their love and support I would struggle a lot more with the issue of continued care. However, the expectation in this region *should* be one of consistent and continued care, without the added hurdles of spending hours on the phone attempting to coordinate services.
Be well, fellow Introverts.
Living with Major Depression is *absolutely* no picnic, but it is chemical and biological in nature, which allows me to accept that it is not a character defect. The de-stigmatization of mental illness is a personal passion--trust me when I say that I have been discriminated against on the basis of my condition, many times over. A combination of medication and CBT (a specific type of counseling) is the best combination of treatments for me. Unfortunately, it's very difficult to keep the CBT going on a consistent basis.
When a person has migraines, they begin to know their triggers inside and out...making sure that allergies are addressed (avoiding allergens altogether or taking medicine for them), sunglasses are used in the sun and adequate water is taken with them everywhere that they go. Similarly, when a person has Major Depression, triggers are known intimately. I avoid certain types of plots in movies and TV shows. When major life events are about to happen (family surgeries, graduations, weddings, births, funerals), I have a "to-go" kit of things that help. Knitting is a big item in the kit, as well as coloring books, novels, and music. I try to remain aware of emotional eating and drinking, and I keep a journal close by.
The past few months have been rife with major life events. With that in mind, I am swimming right along and moving right along with the twists and turns of fate. My most recent efforts have centered around finding a new counselor...something I have been working at for almost a full year. Finding and keeping a counselor is very difficult when one lives in the North Country of New York. I've had counselors retire, change practices and insurance coverage, move out of the area, and my personal favorite---drop me entirely without adequate notice or a plan for continued care.
I am lucky to have a wonderful family--a supportive spouse and two understanding stepsons. Without their love and support I would struggle a lot more with the issue of continued care. However, the expectation in this region *should* be one of consistent and continued care, without the added hurdles of spending hours on the phone attempting to coordinate services.
Be well, fellow Introverts.
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