Sometimes the efficiency in communication that I try to espouse both as an introvert and as a former Westchestarian...backfires. However, it comes from a good place...a desire to be succinct while helpful. It's funny to me that I can usually "spot" other Westchestarians on the phone during the business day, simply by listening to the pattern of *ExtremelyFastAndFuriousThoughtsAllAtOnceOKBye!*
This type of communication is desirable to me as an introvert. It's quick, to the point, and maximizes the directness of the interchange. It is, however, not that desirable to those who wish to engage in extended pleasantries.
I mean no offense in regards to pleasantries! They are worthwhile in that they build relationships...at least at first. However, sometimes this type of small talk makes the small hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up. I just can't get out of there fast enough! I hear a lot about weather, and I hear a lot of inquiries about how I'm doing that aren't really sincere inquiries...they're societal rituals.
Am I alone in feeling this way? Probably not. But I really can't get a good sense of when to Small Talk, when to Engage in Pleasantries, and when to be Open. I'm fairly certain that Being Open is not compatible with Small Talk. And so the dance continues.
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Introducing...A Sociable Introvert
Similar to many introverts the world over, I struggle with prolonged exposure to other people. The highest compliment I can give to my wonderful husband is that it is better to hang out with him than it is to hang out by myself. Many people don't realize the level of compliment this is for an introvert to bestow!
However, as I frequently tell my younger stepson, we live in an incredibly social world. Every year, we seem more connected, globalized, and dependent upon one another to survive. Therefore, when I cannot be alone or alone-together with my wonderful family, I rely on some basic techniques for survival and energy-recharging purposes. Some of my favorites are as follows:
1. Taking Knitting EVERYWHERE. Not only does this allow the introvert in question to focus on something internally relevant while in any social environment...it is also a great conversation starter for those awkward moments when you're not sure how to even approach "small talk" with the people around you. For example, I find that taking brightly colored knitting with me to parties and gatherings gets the people immediately around you to inquire briefly about your project, how long you've knitted, etc.
2. Bringing a "Survival Kit." Are you into something other than knitting? Exercise, for example? Bring portable equipment with you (gym shoes and a towel are the most basic forms) on visits to friends and family, and take the excuse to disappear into Introvert Time.
3. Finding the Hidey-Hole. On many trips and even at many parties, there are built in Hidey-Holes. On shorter visits, walks/hanging out outdoors on your own for small stretches of time are considered polite/permissible escapes. On longer visits, sleeping in a bit and/or spending an extended bit of time in the bath are considered polite/permissible (again, within reason...not the whole morning).
4. Building Down-Time Into Vacations. Going on vacation with your beloved extrovert? One of my family's favorite survival techniques is to build in a little down time so that the extroverts can get extra time Doing Stuff with Others, and the introverts in our family can just decompress with their favorite book, bath, videogame, or just a chair (ahhh...sweet relaxation).
This blog will serve as yet another survival mechanism...an outlet to potentially reach out to (and compare notes with) other introverts. I hope you enjoy. Thank you for reading!
However, as I frequently tell my younger stepson, we live in an incredibly social world. Every year, we seem more connected, globalized, and dependent upon one another to survive. Therefore, when I cannot be alone or alone-together with my wonderful family, I rely on some basic techniques for survival and energy-recharging purposes. Some of my favorites are as follows:
1. Taking Knitting EVERYWHERE. Not only does this allow the introvert in question to focus on something internally relevant while in any social environment...it is also a great conversation starter for those awkward moments when you're not sure how to even approach "small talk" with the people around you. For example, I find that taking brightly colored knitting with me to parties and gatherings gets the people immediately around you to inquire briefly about your project, how long you've knitted, etc.
2. Bringing a "Survival Kit." Are you into something other than knitting? Exercise, for example? Bring portable equipment with you (gym shoes and a towel are the most basic forms) on visits to friends and family, and take the excuse to disappear into Introvert Time.
3. Finding the Hidey-Hole. On many trips and even at many parties, there are built in Hidey-Holes. On shorter visits, walks/hanging out outdoors on your own for small stretches of time are considered polite/permissible escapes. On longer visits, sleeping in a bit and/or spending an extended bit of time in the bath are considered polite/permissible (again, within reason...not the whole morning).
4. Building Down-Time Into Vacations. Going on vacation with your beloved extrovert? One of my family's favorite survival techniques is to build in a little down time so that the extroverts can get extra time Doing Stuff with Others, and the introverts in our family can just decompress with their favorite book, bath, videogame, or just a chair (ahhh...sweet relaxation).
This blog will serve as yet another survival mechanism...an outlet to potentially reach out to (and compare notes with) other introverts. I hope you enjoy. Thank you for reading!
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