While I spent the weekend needing Maximum Introvert Time to be sick to my stomach and to mourn, my husband did what wise spouses of Introverts do---he engaged in a project. We kept apologizing to one another over the course of the weekend. It was actually a little quirky/humorous in the midst of such a horrible time:
Romeyn: "I'm sorry I'm not around more this weekend, Sweetie. I know you're going through a rough time."
Amanda: "I'm sorry I'm not up to hanging out this weekend, Honey Bear! I'm going through a rough time!"
...And on and on it went. When things had blown over and both of us were infinitely more settled (yesterday), my husband spontaneously suggested he take me out for a date on Thursday. Without me saying a word, he said exactly what I wanted to hear, again! :)
I don't say it enough. I have the perfect husband, especially given my Introvertedness! Thank you, Romeyn. I appreciate your understanding, patience, hand-holding, love, support, and awesomeness.
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Monday, September 29, 2014
Exhaustion
Sometimes, life throws you several curve-balls at once. Using the tools at your disposal in order to cope doesn't always cut it. I'm a big believer in the power of the nap in these cases. Even ten minutes of shuteye can do wonders.
The past few days have been particularly rough on me. I managed to make myself physically ill from exhaustion and stress. Both of my wonderful stepsons, including our young introvert, gave me hugs without any prompting. They were wonderfully supportive. I was a mess.
After a restorative nap, I got up and started to clean up after some of the messier stress factors of the weekend. I think that naps are the last line of defense against stress--particularly introvert stress. Onwards and upwards.
Friday, September 26, 2014
The Challenge of Open House
Since I work at a college, participation in several events during the year with large crowds of people is non-optional. The positive side of this "mandatory mixing" is that it has a(n awesome) specific drive and purpose. Remember, I have a greater understanding of groups with a purpose. An open house is not a forum where I'll be forced to endure a lot of small talk. Rather, it is an environment where I give practical advice in short bursts of directed conversation. Granted, it is usually the same advice in a repetitive loop to over a hundred open house participants at a stretch...but it is for their benefit and the repetition makes it easy to remember what to say.
That being said, there comes a point during the experience when my ability to deal with the social situation is stretched to its very limits. It isn't a fluke that I live out in the country, in an incredibly rural setting with an extremely small population. I've always been more of a coffeehouse person than a house-party person--fewer people at a time and a quieter (more personal) experience.
In my first post, I talked about tips for surviving social events. Most of these do not apply in an open house setting. For example, it would be inappropriate to bring knitting to this professional event. But I still bring a tiny survival kit to open houses and similar events:
1. Chewing Gum (It may sound strange, but as an introvert, it becomes difficult to even think clearly in large crowds with a ton of ambient noise. Chewing gum allows me to think a little more clearly while I navigate and interact with the group in question.)
2. Headache Medicine (I am prone to headaches, and specifically, migraines. Better to be prepared than not, especially when I'm already in a state of Introvert high-tension due to a crowd.)
3. A Small Notebook (This one is thanks to my wonderful husband. He likes to keep a mini notebook on hand just in case it is needed. In my case, in a large crowd it is a great idea to be prepared for requests for follow up that I might not otherwise remember due to the aforementioned state of high-tension.)
4. A Plan to Decompress After the Event (For tomorrow's event, I've got Introvert Time before and after, as well as a nice quiet plan with a good friend later in the evening.)
With a little planning and self-care, crowded events need not run us Introverts into the ground. Rather, these events can be opportunities to get outside of that comfort zone and help others while testing out our coping mechanisms in a perfectly crowded setting.
That being said, there comes a point during the experience when my ability to deal with the social situation is stretched to its very limits. It isn't a fluke that I live out in the country, in an incredibly rural setting with an extremely small population. I've always been more of a coffeehouse person than a house-party person--fewer people at a time and a quieter (more personal) experience.
In my first post, I talked about tips for surviving social events. Most of these do not apply in an open house setting. For example, it would be inappropriate to bring knitting to this professional event. But I still bring a tiny survival kit to open houses and similar events:
1. Chewing Gum (It may sound strange, but as an introvert, it becomes difficult to even think clearly in large crowds with a ton of ambient noise. Chewing gum allows me to think a little more clearly while I navigate and interact with the group in question.)
2. Headache Medicine (I am prone to headaches, and specifically, migraines. Better to be prepared than not, especially when I'm already in a state of Introvert high-tension due to a crowd.)
3. A Small Notebook (This one is thanks to my wonderful husband. He likes to keep a mini notebook on hand just in case it is needed. In my case, in a large crowd it is a great idea to be prepared for requests for follow up that I might not otherwise remember due to the aforementioned state of high-tension.)
4. A Plan to Decompress After the Event (For tomorrow's event, I've got Introvert Time before and after, as well as a nice quiet plan with a good friend later in the evening.)
With a little planning and self-care, crowded events need not run us Introverts into the ground. Rather, these events can be opportunities to get outside of that comfort zone and help others while testing out our coping mechanisms in a perfectly crowded setting.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Reclaiming the Telephone
As an introvert, the "subtle" ring of a telephone usually inspires dread. Oh goodness---there's an unexpected person! It creates quite the challenge as I fight my natural urge to resent the unexpected person on the other end of the line. I've been known to plan out phone-calls, texts and even emails in advance.
Lately, I have been working on increasing my telephonic exposure. I don't want to be That Introvert---the eccentric hermit that people avoid out of habit. I've increased my phonecalls to others and my plans to have phonecalls in general. It's especially helpful for new friendships and old family relationships.
The comfort zone of the telephone is minimal at best, but there are perks to this type of conversation---for example, I find it is easier to gauge the tone, content, and intent of the communication on the phone. It's easier to remember elements of a conversation and note things that are important to the person in question. I believe we should reclaim the telephone---as introverts, it is an important tool to invite others into our sphere of existence.
Lately, I have been working on increasing my telephonic exposure. I don't want to be That Introvert---the eccentric hermit that people avoid out of habit. I've increased my phonecalls to others and my plans to have phonecalls in general. It's especially helpful for new friendships and old family relationships.
The comfort zone of the telephone is minimal at best, but there are perks to this type of conversation---for example, I find it is easier to gauge the tone, content, and intent of the communication on the phone. It's easier to remember elements of a conversation and note things that are important to the person in question. I believe we should reclaim the telephone---as introverts, it is an important tool to invite others into our sphere of existence.
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Exercise = Energy
As an introvert, I adore having time to do things on my own. A great example of Introvert Recharging Activity is exercise! Even if the gym is crowded, I can tune everyone out and listen to workout tunes while working towards that wonderful adrenaline high. I've mentioned that taking a walk or bringing exercise gear on a trip is a great way to recharge as well. I've found that many modern exercise machines have a holder for your e-reader or tablet (or book), so depending on how vigorously you plan to exercise, you can merge that introvert-activity with another favorite--reading. Exercise is good for your mental and physical well-being---just don't overdo it.
Happy recharging!
Happy recharging!
Friday, September 19, 2014
Being Alone Together
There are times when Romeyn (my wonderful husband) and I work silently, side by side or across the room from one another. It's an easygoing silence that allows for deep thought and great productivity. A shared purpose unites us in the silence, so we are not "alone" but we are definitely Alone Together in our activities.
A similar sense of tranquility can be maintained when an introvert is in a large crowd---it just depends upon the context. For example, one of the most peaceful places that I've experienced is Grand Central Station. A shared purpose unites those waiting for trains to depart or arrive. Even when people are rushing to their destinations in the crowd, most travelers seem to avoid conflicts if possible and stick to their own paths and plans.
This isn't a particularly comfortable station from the standpoint of having a place to sit or something specific to do while you wait. Rather, it is more like a museum in that you can see so many things while you wait (and without interruption.)
I am the type of introvert that enjoys Being Alone Together--engaging in silent but shared activity that can be paused at any moment if either party wishes to take off or do something different. Working together, visiting museums and reading are some of my favorites!
A similar sense of tranquility can be maintained when an introvert is in a large crowd---it just depends upon the context. For example, one of the most peaceful places that I've experienced is Grand Central Station. A shared purpose unites those waiting for trains to depart or arrive. Even when people are rushing to their destinations in the crowd, most travelers seem to avoid conflicts if possible and stick to their own paths and plans.
This isn't a particularly comfortable station from the standpoint of having a place to sit or something specific to do while you wait. Rather, it is more like a museum in that you can see so many things while you wait (and without interruption.)
I am the type of introvert that enjoys Being Alone Together--engaging in silent but shared activity that can be paused at any moment if either party wishes to take off or do something different. Working together, visiting museums and reading are some of my favorites!
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Introvert Standard Time (IST)
I used to giggle at my mother for getting up at what seemed like the break of dawn. I'd hear her industriously cleaning, or come downstairs to find her listening to symphonies on the Hi-Fi. Now that I'm older, I understand the wisdom of her early schedule.
A little meditation and exercise in the morning helps set the tone for the day. Even if the exercise is a little housecleaning, and the "meditation" consists of a few quiet moments, it does wonders for a person's ability to cope with the uncertainties of everyday life.
In a household of young men, it also affords an introvert like me a few minutes of Nothing at All. I'm so proud of my two stepsons. My boys have done and continue to do amazing things, and I love hearing about it all! The Introvert Time each morning allows me to be more attuned to them when they have such accomplishments and challenges to share. Introvert Standard Time (or IST) should be an activity all of us introverts engage in regularly. As a former colleague of mine noted, "When you have the time you need to relax, you're a happier person."
So I'll continue to sing the praises of a little IST in the morning...and thank my lucky stars that my mother set an example with such practical applications. Thanks, Mom!
A little meditation and exercise in the morning helps set the tone for the day. Even if the exercise is a little housecleaning, and the "meditation" consists of a few quiet moments, it does wonders for a person's ability to cope with the uncertainties of everyday life.
In a household of young men, it also affords an introvert like me a few minutes of Nothing at All. I'm so proud of my two stepsons. My boys have done and continue to do amazing things, and I love hearing about it all! The Introvert Time each morning allows me to be more attuned to them when they have such accomplishments and challenges to share. Introvert Standard Time (or IST) should be an activity all of us introverts engage in regularly. As a former colleague of mine noted, "When you have the time you need to relax, you're a happier person."
So I'll continue to sing the praises of a little IST in the morning...and thank my lucky stars that my mother set an example with such practical applications. Thanks, Mom!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)